The wedding handover: what your caterer and planner need, and by when

Your caterer needs final numbers, a meal for each guest, every allergy in writing, and a count of the children and suppliers to feed. Your planner or venue needs the order of the day, the seating plan with table numbers, and any access needs. Ask both for their deadline now: Bridebook’s 2026 planning timeline warns that some caterers need up to four weeks’ notice.

On paper it is a short list. In real life it arrives in pieces: a text from your aunt about her husband’s coeliac disease, a reply card that says “no fish” and no name. The handover takes an hour. Collecting it is the work, and it is far easier to do once than five times.

When does the caterer need final numbers?

Each caterer sets its own date, so ask yours before you set a reply date. Bridebook’s 2026 planning timeline says some caterers need final numbers up to four weeks before the wedding. Set your own reply date about two weeks before theirs. Those two weeks are for chasing, and you will use them.

The number matters because caterers charge by the head. For scale, Hitched’s 2026 report, from 2,020 couples who married in 2025, puts the average spend per guest at £272 across the whole wedding, not only the food. Bridebook’s UK Wedding Report 2026 found that 71% of couples choose a venue with in-house catering, so for most of you the caterer and the venue are one team with one deadline.

Give the number in parts: adults, children, babies, evening guests and suppliers. Each has a different plate and a different price.

What should the caterer know about each guest?

For each guest, the caterer needs a name, a table number, a meal choice if there is one, and any allergy or dietary need in the guest’s own words. A list sorted by table sends the right plate to the right seat, with no waiter calling out names.

Allergies deserve the most care. The Food Standards Agency lists 14 allergens that UK food businesses must declare, from celery and cereals containing gluten to sesame and tree nuts. Its 2024 study of adult food allergy found that about 6% of UK adults, around 2.4 million people, have a clinically confirmed food allergy. At the average of 80 guests in Bridebook’s 2026 report, that is about five of your guests (our rough calculation, not a survey).

In 2025 the Food Standards Agency published best practice that asks food businesses to give allergen information in writing, backed by a conversation. Help your caterer by passing on every note exactly as the guest wrote it, and by saying which notes are allergies and which are preferences. Our note on RSVP meal choice wording and the allergy question has a reply form you can copy.

Do children and suppliers count in the numbers?

Yes, and both are easy to forget. Give the caterer each child’s age, because a children’s menu usually stops at a set age. Count babies too, so the venue lays a high chair.

Suppliers are the people who work through dinner: the photographer, the videographer, the band and the planner. Many contracts ask for a hot meal and a break, so read each one. Feed suppliers while the guests eat, and your photographer is ready when the speeches start.

What does the planner or venue need from you?

Your planner or venue manager needs three documents: the order of the day, the seating plan and a list of access needs. Send drafts about a month before the wedding and final versions with your numbers.

• The order of the day: ceremony, drinks, dinner, speeches, first dance, evening food and carriages, each with a time and a named lead.
• The seating plan: every table with its number, matching the caterer’s list exactly.
• Access needs: a wheelchair, a seat near an exit, a guest who hears better near the front.

Plan for access needs as carefully as for allergies. RNID, the hearing loss charity, says about one in three UK adults have hearing loss, so seat older relatives near the speeches and ask about a hearing loop. Debrett’s adds a kind rule for the plan: every guest should know at least one other person at the table.

What goes to whom, and by when?

The dates are our suggestion. Your caterer’s deadline overrides every one of them.

How do you chase late replies kindly?

Chase early, chase by name, and make it easy to answer. Every wedding has a handful of guests who mean to reply and forget. They are rarely rude, only busy.

• A week before your reply date, send one general reminder to everyone who has not answered.
• The day after your reply date, send a short personal message to each of them, by name, like the one below.
• Two days later, ring the last few. A call is quicker than a fourth message, and kinder.
• On the caterer’s deadline, send the numbers you have, and tell the caterer how many guests you are still chasing.

Hello Margaret, we give our caterer the final numbers on 4 May and would love to keep you a seat. Could you tell us by Friday whether you can come, and whether there is anything you cannot eat?

Ask a parent or a friend to make the calls to their side of the family. Your aunt will answer her sister faster than she answers you.

How do you collect it all once, not five times?

Use one reply form, keep one list, and send each supplier an export of that list. Then a late change is made once.

• One reply form. Ask who in each household is coming, a meal for each guest, and one open question about allergies. Add “Is there anything that would make the day easier for you?” to catch access needs.
• One list. One row per guest, with household, table, meal and dietary note. A reply by phone or text goes into the same list that day.
• One export for each supplier. The caterer gets names, tables, meals and allergies. Nobody needs home addresses.
• One helper. Give a planner or a trusted friend the list itself, not screenshots, and the job of chasing.

Allergies are health information. Share them only with the people who cook and serve, and delete spare copies afterwards.

The next date to fix is the day the invitations go out: work back to it from the caterer’s deadline.