When to send wedding invitations in the UK, and when to ask for replies

For a wedding in the UK, send your invitations about 12 weeks before the day. If guests are travelling from abroad, send them four to six months before, with a save the date first. Then set the reply date by working back from the day your venue needs its final numbers.

These are our own timings, not a rule of etiquette. Wedding guides disagree, sometimes with themselves, and no single date suits every wedding. What follows is the method we use to choose, so that you can adjust it for yours.

How do you choose the reply date?

Work back from the date your venue and caterer need final numbers, and leave two weeks. Ask them when they need the final guest count, the meal choices and any dietary needs, and write those dates down first. The two weeks give you time to follow up with anyone who has not replied and to check the answers you have. A reply date on the same day as the caterer’s deadline leaves no room for either.

For example, if the venue needs final numbers four weeks before the wedding, ask guests to reply six weeks before it. That is an example of working back, not a rule: if your venue needs the list sooner, move your reply date sooner as well. Ask, too, whether the venue wants one number or separate numbers for the ceremony, the meal and the evening.

What does the timeline look like?

Twelve weeks gives most guests time to ask for leave, book a room and arrange childcare. A guest who has to book an international flight needs far longer, which is why the invitation for a wedding abroad goes out months earlier. A save the date comes before all of this, and our guide to when to send save the dates has its own timings and lines to copy.

What do the wedding guides say?

They give different answers, which is why the method matters more than any one number.

When do you send evening invitations?

On the same day as the day invitations, with the same reply date. Evening guests talk to day guests, and a friend who receives theirs a month later will notice. The same reply date also means your venue gets one set of numbers for the evening food, at the same time as the rest.

Does a bank holiday change the timing?

Yes: send everything earlier. A bank holiday weekend can suit some guests and be hard for others, because trains, hotels and annual leave fill early. Tell guests the date and the town as soon as they are fixed, even if the full invitation is still being designed. The same applies when your venue is far from where most guests live, or during the school holidays.

If a room block or a shuttle is still being arranged when the invitations go, say that it will follow, rather than guess.

How do you chase late replies?

Kindly, once in writing and once by phone. Expect a few late replies: they are more often forgetfulness than rudeness. A method that works:

• A week before the reply date, send one friendly message to each household that has not answered, with the link or the reply address again.
• Give a reason, because a reason gets replies: the caterer needs numbers, the venue needs a count.
• The day after the reply date, ring anyone who is still missing. A call is harder to ignore than a message.
• Write down each answer the moment you get it, in the same list as every other reply.
• Give your caterer the final numbers on their date, and agree with them how to count a household that is still silent.

Hello Jean and Malcolm, a gentle reminder from us: the venue needs our numbers next Friday, and we would hate to miss you. Could you let us know by Sunday whether you can come? Your invitation is here again.

The Knot, writing for US couples, suggests following up with anyone who has not replied at least two weeks before the wedding. With a reply date two weeks before the caterer’s, you will be well ahead of that.

What does a digital invitation change?

Less than you might think. A link reaches every guest at once, with no time lost in the post, but it does not shrink the time a guest needs to plan, so the timings above stay the same. It is kinder to send a useful invitation on time than a perfect one late.

Allow time for your designer or printer, too. Ask for their dates when you book, including how long each proof takes, and count back from the day you want to send.

What do you check before you send?

Open the invitation the way your guests will, on paper or on a phone. Read every date aloud. Then ask one person outside the planning to find the venue and the reply date. If they need more than a few seconds for either, move it higher.

Put the caterer’s date in your calendar first, then the reply date two weeks before it, then the sending date: everything else follows from those three. If you are writing the reply line now, our wedding invitation wording examples have it in a few forms.

An engagement party or another celebration needs less notice than a wedding. Our note on how far ahead to plan a party gives the dates for each kind of event.