How to plan an event, step by step, from the date to the thank-you notes

Plan an event in this order: fix the date, the budget and the guest number first, because every other choice depends on them. Then book the venue and the food, send the invitations, chase the replies, give the final numbers two weeks before, and write a timeline for the day so that everyone knows what happens when.

The order holds for a tea for twelve in the garden and for a 40th for sixty in a hired room. The bigger party only starts earlier.

What is the order of work for any event?

Eight steps, in order. Each needs the answer to the one before.

• Fix the date, the budget and the guest number.
• Book the venue, or decide that the party is at home.
• Book the food and the drink, then any music or a photographer.
• Send a save the date to the guests who must be there, if they must travel or the date is busy.
• Send the invitations, with a date to reply by.
• Chase the replies, then give the final numbers and the dietary needs to the caterer.
• Write a timeline for the day, and send it to everyone who has a job.
• Afterwards, pay the last bills and send the thank-you notes.

The first step is the easiest to skip. Agree the three numbers with whoever hosts or pays with you, and write them where you will keep everything else, because the guest number decides the room, the room decides which dates are free, and the budget decides both. A notebook works. So does a spreadsheet, or our event planner, which turns your date into a checklist with a due date beside each task.

Book the venue before the food, because many venues have their own kitchen or a short list of caterers. Send the invitations once the venue is signed, so the address is final. Write the timeline last, when you know who is coming.

How far ahead should you start planning an event?

Start from the size and the place. A milestone party in a room that other people want needs four to six months, because the good rooms book first. The invitation and reply dates below are our guidance for any event.

Six weeks is long enough for guests to keep the evening free and short enough that they remember it. An event abroad needs more, for flights and time off. For the dates by kind of party, from a children’s party to a work Christmas party, read how far ahead to plan a party in the UK.

What goes on an event checklist, week by week?

Give every task a date, counted back from the day, so the whole list moves if the date moves. Our list for any event starts six months out. For a smaller party, start at the line your date allows.

If you start late, book the venue and the food in the same week, send the invitations as soon as the venue is signed, and keep the reply date three weeks before the day.

How do you set an event budget?

Decide the total first, then split it. Agree who pays for what before you book anything, because a deposit is hard to take back. The split below is our starting split for any event. It is guidance, a starting point for you to change, and it does not come from a survey of what hosts spend.

The venue, the food and the drinks take two thirds of the total, because a warm room, a good meal and a full glass are what guests feel. If the venue asks for a minimum spend on food and drink, merge those lines. Keep the contingency, however small: an extra hour, a corkage charge and a taxi home for a grandparent all arrive late.

How do you keep a guest list with replies and dietary needs?

Keep one list, with a row for each household and a line for each guest in it, so that every reply has a place to land. For each guest, keep five things:

• The name, spelled as it goes on a place card.
• A way to reach the household: a phone number or an email address.
• The reply: coming, not coming, or no reply yet.
• Any dietary need or allergy, in the guest’s own words.
• A note for anything else: a wheelchair, a high chair, a guest who must leave early.

Pass the allergies to the caterer exactly as the guests wrote them. A caterer can work with “no sesame, it is serious”. “Allergies: yes” helps nobody. Chase the households with no reply on the reply date, so that you have a week to fill the gaps before the caterer needs the final list.

How do you write a timeline for the day?

Write it in the order the day happens, with a time on each line, and send it a week before to everyone with a job: the venue, the caterer, the music and the friend who is bringing the cake. Here is a sample for 60 guests from 7pm, with a toast before the meal: about an hour of drinks, ninety minutes for the meal, then the cake and the music.

Serve the food on time, because a late meal is what guests talk about on the way home. And give each line an owner: who lights the candles, who starts the music, who calls the taxis.

What changes if the event is a wedding?

A wedding adds the notice of marriage, the registrar or the officiant, and a longer lead time for almost every booking. For a wedding, use the wedding checklist, which counts back from the day with the legal steps for each part of the UK, and read when to send wedding invitations in the UK for the stationery dates.