Wedding gift etiquette: how much to spend, and how to ask for money

Most UK adults think £50 to £100 is right for a couple they are close to, and £50 or less for a couple they know less well, according to YouGov’s surveys. Money is now a welcome gift. Couples can ask for it in one warm line, but never on the invitation card itself.

How much do UK guests spend on a wedding gift?

YouGov has asked twice. In its February 2024 survey, 56% of Britons who gave an answer chose £50 to £100 for a couple they are very close to, and 77% chose £50 or less for a couple they are less close to. In the YouGov Big Survey on Weddings, of 1,784 UK adults in August 2026, the median answer was £76 to £100 for a close couple and £26 to £50 for a less close one.

These are surveys of what people think is right, not receipts. They split guests into close and less close, so for the finer steps we have set out our own suggestion below. Treat it as a starting point, and let your budget have the last word.

Does the cost of attending change what you give?

It should. The Money and Pensions Service surveyed 2,000 recent wedding guests in 2025 and found they spent £692 on average to attend one wedding, with the gift as one part of it. Its 2026 survey put the average at £613, and found that one in four guests aged 18 to 24 spent nothing on a gift at all.

If the wedding means flights, two nights in a hotel and a new outfit, a smaller gift is fair, and most couples know it. The best gift from a friend who has crossed Europe to be there is the friend.

Is it acceptable to give money as a wedding gift?

Yes. Many couples live together long before the wedding and already own a toaster. Money towards a home, a garden or a honeymoon is often the most useful gift you can give, and few couples will think it cold.

• Use the couple’s fund or gift list if they have one. It keeps a record of who gave what, which helps with the thank-you notes.
• If you give cash or a cheque, put it in a sealed card with your name inside, and hand it to the couple or to the card box at the reception.
• Never leave cash loose on a gift table. Cards go astray at the end of a long night.
• Write a line about what you hope they will do with it, not the sum. The amount is between you and the couple.

How can a couple ask for money or a honeymoon fund politely?

Say what the money is for, keep it to one or two lines, and never name a sum. Guests are glad to help with a trip or a first home. They are less glad to read “cash only”. Three lines to copy and change:

Our wedding invitation wording examples have three more gift lines, including one for a couple who want no gifts at all.

Where does the gift line go?

Never on the main invitation card, in traditional etiquette. The invitation asks guests to come, and a request for presents beside the date reads like an entry fee. Put the gift line one step away, where guests who want it will look.

Our checklist of what to include on a wedding invitation shows where gifts sit beside the other details, from dress code to hotels.

What should you give if you cannot attend?

If you are close to the couple, send what you would have given, with a card that says you are sorry to miss it. Send it before the wedding or within a few weeks after it, through their list or fund if they have one. If you are not close, a warm card is enough. Nobody keeps a ledger of the guests who said no.

When should couples send wedding thank-you notes?

Within three months of the wedding, and within two weeks for a gift that arrives before it. Those are our suggestions, and they are kind to both sides: guests know their gift arrived, and you are not writing cards at Christmas.

• Keep a list as the gifts arrive: the name, the gift and anything kind they wrote.
• Split the list between you and write a few each evening.
• Name the gift. For money, say what it will go towards, not the sum.
• Write by hand if you can. A personal message counts too, if it is in your own words.

One line about the day makes a note worth keeping: “Thank you for the beautiful bowl, and for dancing with Grandad until midnight.” Nobody minds a short note. Everyone minds no note.